You don’t have to know everything. You don’t have to keep track of everyone or make sure 100% of everything gets done. You are responsible for yourself. Don’t place unrealistic expectations on your performance in life. No one is keeping score.

I am one week into a two-week vacation. Instead of daydreams and carefree moods, I feel anxious, tired, and unsettled. I have worked diligently for the last two months to take two weeks to disengage and recharge. Vacation should be all I ever wanted it to be.

We have reached the middle of the calendar year. The first half of 2020 is in the review mirror. This has been a banner year to set the stage for your brain and body to feel every emotion; the good, the bad and the ugly. I have had surges of joy and have been fraught with despair.

We just rounded the corner on a decade of this millennia. Time is going too fast for me. The older I get, the harder it is to keep up. After reflecting on a few things from the past decade, it isn’t a surprise that it is hard to hold on during the roller coaster of life. Things that existed in 2010 are now obsolete or replaced with something newer, faster and shinier.

The school year is here! How in the world did that happen? Every summer seems to go faster than the one before it.

If you have a dog in training, one of the first things a teacher will tell you is to establish yourself as the alpha dog or the pack leader. The alpha dog is the top dog and the one who sets the rules for the pack that all other dogs follow. The alpha dog gets to eat first and gets the best sleeping spot. Speaking of sleeping, the alpha dog sleeps higher than dogs lower in the pack. From a certain vantage point, they are on a pedestal.

The schools in my area are on spring break this week. I am working and, starting tonight, watching the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. When spring break begins, I feel a sense of relief and success. One reason is that I’ve made it two-thirds of the way through my son’s school year. Another reason is when there is a school break or a holiday, people are less anxious about their legal issues. I receive less e-mail and fewer phone calls which allows my day to feel more fluid and less disjointed.

This blog post was knocking around in my head through the holiday season and resurfaced in the new year. During Christmas, there were many times I felt inadequate. How many gifts is enough? How many holiday gatherings is enough? Should I do more? Can I do more? Worry about all of these questions causes me to miss out on the joy that comes with gatherings and gifts. To abate the guilt, I wait until the 2 weeks (even 2 days) before Christmas to buy gifts so I don’t struggle with whether I am doing enough. And I participate in every gathering.

What is holding you back from taking time for yourself? This time of year, preparation for the holidays can be the reason you don’t do things you enjoy. In all honesty, isn’t it like this all year long? A list of tasks and goals to be achieved for someone other than yourself. I’m not saying that you don’t benefit as well. There is usually a sense of satisfaction when you do something for someonse else and there is often a mutual benefit.

From the moment you wake up, you are making decisions. Thousands of micro-decisions are made everyday. You are either taking action on a decision or processing whether or not to act. There are likely several decisions ping-ponging around your brain at any given time. It is exhausting.

One of my personality traits is to make sure everyone is happy. I am a peacemaker and problem solver no matter where I am. I don't like people to feel uncomfortable or disregarded. I don't like to leave a situation in unrest with no plan to fix it. Trying to make sure everyone is happy comes with the disadvantage of trying to have the answer for everything and be everything to everyone.

You make thousands of micro-decisions every day. The time you get out of bed. The amount of cream in your coffee. The length of your shower. Along with micro-decisions are macro-decisions. Do you get your child a tutor? Do you tell your boss you are behind on a deadline? Do you hire an expert to do your taxes?