If you have a dog in training, one of the first things a teacher will tell you is to establish yourself as the alpha dog or the pack leader. The alpha dog is the top dog and the one who sets the rules for the pack that all other dogs follow. The alpha dog gets to eat first and gets the best sleeping spot. Speaking of sleeping, the alpha dog sleeps higher than dogs lower in the pack. From a certain vantage point, they are on a pedestal.

This blog post was knocking around in my head through the holiday season and resurfaced in the new year. During Christmas, there were many times I felt inadequate. How many gifts is enough? How many holiday gatherings is enough? Should I do more? Can I do more? Worry about all of these questions causes me to miss out on the joy that comes with gatherings and gifts. To abate the guilt, I wait until the 2 weeks (even 2 days) before Christmas to buy gifts so I don’t struggle with whether I am doing enough. And I participate in every gathering.

From the moment you wake up, you are making decisions. Thousands of micro-decisions are made everyday. You are either taking action on a decision or processing whether or not to act. There are likely several decisions ping-ponging around your brain at any given time. It is exhausting.

One of my personality traits is to make sure everyone is happy. I am a peacemaker and problem solver no matter where I am. I don't like people to feel uncomfortable or disregarded. I don't like to leave a situation in unrest with no plan to fix it. Trying to make sure everyone is happy comes with the disadvantage of trying to have the answer for everything and be everything to everyone.