Posts tagged family
Never Enough

“Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place” The Breakfast Club

This blog post was knocking around in my head through the holiday season and resurfaced in the new year. During Christmas, there were many times I felt inadequate. How many gifts is enough? How many holiday gatherings is enough? Should I do more? Can I do more? Worry about all of these questions causes me to miss out on the joy that comes with gatherings and gifts. To abate the guilt, I wait until the 2 weeks (even 2 days) before Christmas to buy gifts so I don’t struggle with whether I am doing enough. And I participate in every gathering.

New year for change

I remind myself every New Year’s Eve that I have more time on my hands on January 1st than any other day of the year.

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Hurt

When you read the word "hurt" you immediately think of a situation in your life.  In my practice, I watch people hurt.  In some situations, hurt is part of the process.  I relate "hurt" as a physical feeling to the emotion of grief.  I also relate "hurt" as an emotional feeling that can be a response to what someone else said, did, or didn't do.  

Hurt from the loss of a loved can be felt through your entire body; the physical feeling of hurt.  A hurtful statement or action can crush your spirit; the emotional feeling of hurt.

Three weeks ago, I lost one of my first labs to old age.  I hurt from the grief.  I still hurt.

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Say what you want

As I close in on the fourth decade of my life, I am tuned-in to generational differences.  My 7-year uses slang I don't understand.  Few of my GenY friends use SnapChat.  My millennial niece has to explain words like "ships".

As a parent, I am acutely aware that I am the greatest influence on how my child choses to behave.  I've heard that millennials have less capacity for resilience than generations before them.  Primarily because, as they grew up, their parents protected them from disappointment.  I can relate.  (1) I don't want to see my child sad and hurting; and (2) I don't like conflict.

I pick up my son from after school care.  It closes at 5:45 and he never wants to leave when I show up.  He sees me walk in the door and it is autopilot "grumpy face and whine".  He doesn't want to leave, regardless of the time.  

I have explained to him that it makes me sad when he reacts to me with those emotions.   His reaction also makes my stress level spike and my body goes to flight or fight mode.  I get anxious writing about it.

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More faces. More books.

On Saturday, I did a media cleanse.  A media cleanse is something I made up.  A “cleanse” is more commonly associated as a method of food elimination and intestinal, uh, stimulation.  Merriam-Webster defines the word cleanse as “a very restrictive short-term diet primarily intended to remove toxins from the body”.

My scope of the media cleanse was the elimination of news and social media for a calendar day.  I did it the weekend before the election to keep my sanity.  At that time, it was mostly elimination from Facebook and Twitter, i.e. social media.  Since then, I have become a subscriber to the New York Times and have easy access via my iPad.  I find myself binging on news and social media when I get home after work.  When it started to creep into my workday, I did a call for accountability partners to join me in a media free day.

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