Posts tagged burnout
Never Enough

“Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place” The Breakfast Club

This blog post was knocking around in my head through the holiday season and resurfaced in the new year. During Christmas, there were many times I felt inadequate. How many gifts is enough? How many holiday gatherings is enough? Should I do more? Can I do more? Worry about all of these questions causes me to miss out on the joy that comes with gatherings and gifts. To abate the guilt, I wait until the 2 weeks (even 2 days) before Christmas to buy gifts so I don’t struggle with whether I am doing enough. And I participate in every gathering.

New year for change

I remind myself every New Year’s Eve that I have more time on my hands on January 1st than any other day of the year.

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Stay in your lane

One of the main reasons I blog is to work through a problem or situation, reflect on an experience, and to have personal accountability when I make a recommendation (which is pretty much every blog post).

One of my personality traits is to make sure everyone is happy.  I am a peacemaker and problem solver no matter where I am.  I don't like people to feel uncomfortable or disregarded.  I don't like to leave a situation in unrest with no plan to fix it.  Trying to make sure everyone is happy comes with the disadvantage of trying to have the answer for everything and be everything to everyone.  

I learned, with practice, how to say "I don't know" and, even more specifically, to say "I don't know everything".  That doesn't stop me from wanting to know everything or following up with "I will find out".  

Here are a few ways I can support someone and stay in my lane.  

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With experience comes pessimism

One battle I wage everyday is to suppress my desire to assume the worst.  As an attorney, I am trained to look for every possible scenario which includes worse case scenarios.   On a personal level, my thought pattern of choice is "catastrophizing".  I shared this with a friend and she asked "is that even a word?"  I explained what it was and she couldn't believe I thought that way most of the time.  I couldn't believe that everyone doesn't think this way most of the time.  I think pessimissm comes from experience.  Life experience.

The longer you rotate around the sun, the more you are lied to, taken advantage of, experience loss, suffer grief, lose your religion, and feel pain.  It accumulates over time.   And it wears you down.  Why should you expect the best when it might not happen?  I've realized that negative thinking has got a tight grip on me right now. 

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